Welcome to Haidar's Honeypot

Hi, welcome to my blog, hope you enjoy the content.

Thursday 12 January 2012

When I met an Investment Banker last night...

It was at a selection evening last night that I was introduced to Faisal, albeit in a small group setting. I was initially impressed by his frank and understanding approach to some of the most sensitive group discussions that I've ever had (sexuality, abuse, relationships etc). On appearance Faisal looked the part, distinctly smart, and he even sounded the part, a crisp fluently British accent. I wondered for a moment who he was and why he was here.

As the evening proceeded and all the groups began to merge into a single group, I hesitantly ran my eyes across a message board wall and approached Faisal and asked him rather to the point "so Faisal, what is it that you do?". "eerm, I'm an investment banker". I smiled, and before I could interrogate him any further one of the organisers of the evening had signalled for us to start the next task.

After the eventful evening had come to a halt and we prepared our commute home, my friends ,Haris and Hamza, and I were very much surprised to learn that the investment banker lived not too far from us. He lived in Ilford!

There are some people who emit an awkward impression which makes dialogue undoubtedly difficult but Faisal was not one of them. Instead he had such a bubbly charisma that I couldn't wait to ask him the 1001 questions on my mind.

On the train, he was alluding to how his troubled life had led him to arrive at the helpline charity event. He mentioned how he was on a path seeking answers to questions he had hitherto unasked, searching for tranquillity in a turbulent world and finding out the meaning of life.

As we arrived at our dining place near Ilford station, Roosters Piri Piri, I couldn't help but question why he felt the way he did and in the manner that he did. He began "back in the days, even 10 years ago, getting into banking was an easy thing to do. I had just recently graduated with a history degree and soon enough I was in investment banking." What went wrong I interjected, "everything. I was in an environment where people portrayed themselves to be very strong... in fact these people are the weakest people on earth; apart from their career everything else fails: relationships, breakdowns, everything", his tone got more serious and his eyes glimmered in excitement, "what's the point of earning so much money... you work so hard that you don't even have time to spend it. You buy a 60K car - it looks good in front the house, the neighbours are like wow but you're not there long enough to enjoy that because you're still working too hard at work." and so he continued to give us more insights into how large sums of money doesn't quite satisfy the human soul, "and that's why I want to get involved in this charity helpline, you know give something back, do something good, that feeling is priceless".

We were all moved by the words he was freestyling. There was no agenda, this was  a man in his prime, late 30's, who had now realised that the idea of the world that is presented so often to us from a young age was all a sham. We're preached from a young age that we have to work hard to get that 'successful' job, but we know that means a job that pays very high and we're taught that freedom will give us the happiness that we so crave. But here was the man who had that all of that: investment banking is seen by many as a lucrative career, many would say that it is a 'successful' career. With the huge amounts of money he could have the 'freedom' to do what he likes. Actually, he doesn't use this liberty, and it's this that sets him apart from the rest of his colleagues who apart from their careers are utter failures. Instead, Faisal has a wife and an 8-month-old-son that at least give him some purpose in this world.

Faisal, then stated some metaphors which stuck in our minds for some time. "People say that we push and force religion upon others, instead I would argue that it is they who push their [secular] religion upon us, and this is what causes so much problems... from a young age the youths are taught that hard work doesn't pay, just listen to some of the rappers they claim that they came from the 'hood' and made something of themselves, what message does that give to the youths, that you don't have to work hard and study and there's a magic pill to make you successful, this is all lies... the most popular kids at schools are the one that have girlfriends, don't study, are always getting into trouble. These are the role models of our youths. Studying is no longer cool, working hard is no longer an option, aspiring for greatness is a myth. Why? Because as soon as a kid steps out of his home [or even in it] he's surrounded by messages from all direction that tell him to do the opposite - to succumb to temptations, to take the easy route and to end up as a good-for-nothing lazy couch-potato".

The last point I recall  him mentioning was the importance of companionship. We all smiled in agreement accessing our own experiences. "I wish I had good friends when I was your age. The brothers were either extremely too  religious, and not understanding, or the other end liberals who had no concept of morality. There was no middle ground for me to engage in so I lost out. But, I'm telling you brothers, be careful of the people around you - do a charachter assissination, break it down, always break it down."  "But how do we break it down" Haris asked. Faisal thought for a moment, "question their assumptions and find out what they stand for. If their foundations are weak then they will crumble. Always do a character assassination!"

We were all  left in awe of the things that had been said, not that the things were anything new but that Faisal was talking about it, and in the perspective he put it in. If one was there they would have been dazzled by his charismatic speech. One cannot help but feel that this was no mere accident, we all shared a feeling that we were about to do something great, and the last thing he said to us was "whenever you're in the area, and it's evening time, give me a call and I'll get my car and pick you guys up, we can talk and chill for 10 minutes or so."

Sunday 11 September 2011

Loving the Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him)

As Muslims we can sometimes find it difficult to maintain our relationship with our 'beloved'. Our day to to day routines causes us to forget about him and even our Salawaats (prayers upon the prophet pbuh) becomes at times repetitive and for those of us to whom Arabic is not a native language, it becomes all the more difficult. And so I begin to contemplate on how to resolve this issue.

One thing that becomes quite clear is that our beloved is our beloved only in namesake i.e. it has become a lip-service to many of us and often I find it in myself that I don't have the signs to suggest that I truly love my prophet (pbuh). What I mean by this is based on what the scholars have agreed on 'the reality of loving the Prophet (pbuh) ... in making all that which one loves and favours correspond to everything that he (pbuh) loved and favoured, that is:
  • Following him
  • Supporting him, protecting his Sunnah, imitating him and being fearful of contradicting his Sunnah.
  • Continuously mentioning and remembering him.
  • Favouring him over ones self.
  • Missing him and longing to meet him.
When I think of these general guidelines for a lover of the beloved what springs to mind is first and foremost how deficient I am in all the points mentioned, but another interesting thought that develops stems from a  recent friendship that I've found.

When I think of my friend I miss him even though I know he's close by, when I am in his company I am fearful of his disapproval and when I am with others I am constantly mentioning his name in praise. This seems to be the kind of relationship that I want to have with my beloved, only much more.

On closer inspection I realise that I can't meet up with the prophet (pbuh) like I can with my friend; neither can I have a conversation like I can with my friend. But when I look at how our friendship formed, because in all friendship there is always a beginning, a middle and unfortunately an end, I see that perhaps parallels can be drawn. The beginning is a period of exploration and a period of interest. With my friend we shared many stories, sometimes personal intimate stories and at other times for the sake of a good laugh. Whilst, the middle period of friendship is like the nectar of every fragrant flower: you begin to long for the person and you can't wait to be in their company. If some illness was to befall them it would stricken you a great deal.

Likewise the beginning of the love for our beloved must be a period of finding out all we can. Every small detail. The more we know the more we can love. One of the greatest facets of the prophet's (pbuh) life was that he was the most balanced individual to ever walk the face of this earth, so if I was to go out and find out about him - rest assured that I could find at least one thing that I could relate to. In a practical sense exploring  Hadiths (sayings of the prophet (pbuh)) is one way of find our more about our beloved. Sometimes it can even take just one Hadith to instill that love in us especially if that particular one was relevant and relate-able. To clinch the deal, one has to try their utmost to find out every particular peculiar to that individual. Fortunately no person in history has anything as comparable as the Seerah (biography) of the prophet (pbuh). If one was to embark on such a journey of knowledge one would find the prophet's (pbuh) life as a consolation for our difficult times, a beacon of hope when times are desperate and an inspiration for love of all things good. 

I believe that I'm still at the beginning of the road to loving my beloved. At least my intention is there and inshAllah (God willing) I will be able to tread this path successfully to fully act on the five points that I've mentioned earlier on. The end result is quite simply this:
Anas bin Maalik, may Allaah be pleased with him, said that a man asked the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam: "When will the (last) hour come?" He sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam replied: “What have you done to prepare for it?” The man replied: "Nothing, except the love I have for Allaah and His Messenger." The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam replied: “You will be (on the Day of Judgment) with those whom you love.” Anas bin Maalik, may Allaah be pleased with him, said: "We (his companions) never rejoiced at anything more than his words, when he said “You will be (on the Day of Judgment) with those whom you love.”’ Anas, may Allaah be pleased with him, continued: "I love the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, Abu Bakr and ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with them both, and I hope to be with them (in the Hereafter) due to my love for them, even if I cannot do (the same amount of righteous deeds) as they do." (Bukhaari, Muslim and others)
My personal favourite Hadith is this one:
The Messenger Muhammad (saw) said: "Some peoples will come on the Day of Judgement and their Imaan will be outstanding, it's light will shine from their chests and from their right hands. So it will be said to them, 'glad tidings for you today, Assalaamu alaykum and goodness for you, enter into it (Jannah) forever!’ So the angels and the Prophets will be jealous of the love of Allah for them". So the Sahabah asked, ' who are they O Messenger of Allah?' He (saw) replied, "They are not from us and they are not from you. You are my companions but they are my beloved. They will come after you and will find the book (the Qur'an) made redundant by the people, and a Sunnah which has been killed by them. So they will grab hold of the book and the Sunnah and revive them. So they will read them and teach them (the Qur'an and the Sunnah) to the people and they will experience in that path a punishment more severe and more ugly than what you (O Sahabah) have experienced. Indeed, the Imaan of one of them is equivalent to the Imaan of forty of you. The Shaheed of one of them is equivalent to forty of your Shuhadaa'. Because you found a helper towards the truth (the Prophet [saw]) and they will find no helper towards the truth. So they will be surrounded by tyrant rulers in every place, and they will be in the surroundings of Bayt ul-Maqdis (al-Quds). The Nussrah (victorious material support) of Allah will come to them, and they will have the honour of it on their hands". Then he (saw) said "O Allah give them the Nussrah and make them my close friends in Jannah" (Musnad of Imam Ahmed).