Lessons from my day

For illustrative purposes only, I'm on the right hand side
(if that wasn't already obvious) with my good friend,
and brother Tasif on the left-hand side
(pretending to be cool with a fake phone call). I just
wanted to show what a 'Taub' looks like.

It's quite late in the day for me, normally I would retire to bed straight after Eisha (night prayer) but today would be different. I had been preparing all year for this, the excitement was too much. Though I have to admit it does sound more sad once I write it down. Tonight I am going to be sleeping in the prayer room. 

Looking back at my day, there are plenty of things that I can learn and ponder on. Of those, one of them is INTENTIONS. Have I been making sure that my actions are exclusively for Allah? For instance, I have recently started to wear a black Taub (long white garment) for all my prayers at KCL, but am I doing it for people to think that I'm practising or to increase my stature. OK, this one's easy, I'm doing it because our Fiqh teacher recommended it, and it makes sense. The way that I look at it, if I had an interview tomorrow I would attire into my most spick and spanned clothing, maybe even a suit. I would spray some Paco Rabanne cologne and dazzle my interviewers with my flossed, brushed, mouth-washed set of teeth. And that's only for an interview, leading to most likely a dunya (material) gain, so why can I not make an effort for my Creator, who sustains me, favours me with countless blessings, makes me feel safe and sound, disposes of my troubles and sends peace and tranquillity over my heart. It makes one think doesn't it.

Another personal development that I am constantly battling with is back-biting, speaking something about a person which they dislike - if it is true then it is gossiping, and if it is false then slandering. I am constantly speaking ill of people, especially about my brothers. Sometimes they get on my nerves so much so that I feel like confiding even in a stranger with my frustrations, obviously I wouldn't do that. I'm being too harsh, they're not really that bad, there's more good than bad in them. But that's the whole test, isn't it, can I be patient with them? Can I be disciplined enough not to open my mouth without consulting my brain, for surely I have found this is the most difficult thing to do, to THINK BEFORE SPEAKING.

OK, I see that this blog is getting a bit too Muslim-y. I guess I feel very comfortable talking about my experiences, my lessons. All I can say now is I'm going to bed now and if you can please pray that Allah makes my revision easy, efficient and productive (and if you have more time please ask Him to give me a first in my Summer exams). Until next time ;)

Haidar's Honeypot

The naming of this Blog is rather sad, I spend almost half an hour going through the dictionary to find a letter that would alliterate with Haidar. My initial eureka moment was when I discovered the word 'head' and that it could be combined with Haidar to give the Blog title 'Haidar's Head', but then I thought nah its way too typical. So my quest for a Blog title continued until I stumbled across the word honeypot - and I thought wow this could really work. And here we have it - Haidar's Honeypot.


A brief update, I am absolutely swamped with a barrel of workload up to my elbows and knees that's going to keep me busy for at least two months. Did I mention it's exam season! I feel like a slave to my books, not a day goes by where I don't feel guilty for not doing enough and as much as I should. Add to that, working for the Census 2011 and me being brave enough to complete most of my 25-hour contract over the weekend keeps me unsociable. 


Over the weekend, I've been contemplating getting a cat, a really adorable one, one that makes you go' aaaw' , 'he's so cute' and 'look what he's doing!' kind of cat. It has to be one that does not shed so much fur such that its constantly belching hair-balls every five seconds.


I read this article, Why do people have to leave each other?, Saturday morning and I was honestly blown away by the conclusion. The writer sheds light on our relationships with other and how to define it:

"It means when you have friends, don’t expect your friends to fill your emptiness. When you get married, don’t expect your spouse to fulfill your every need. When you’re an activist, don’t put your hope in the results. When you’re in trouble don’t depend on yourself. Don’t depend on people. Depend on God."

I felt a fresh sense of empowerment like I was "unconquerable, because [my] supporter [could] never be conquered. And [I would] never become empty, because [my] source of fulfillment is unending and never diminishes." This colourful way of thinking extended throughout my day; my actions, my thoughts and my demeanour had radically changed in the course of an hour. I found comfort in the fact that actually this Dunya (material world) is imperfect - our outlook in this life should not be disappointing by the rollercoaster of life's ups and downs. "That is because if our inner state is dependent on something that is by definition inconstant, that inner state will also be inconstant. If our inner state is dependent on something changing and temporary, that inner state will be in a constant state of instability, agitation, and unrest. This means that one moment we’re happy, but as soon as that which our happiness depended upon changes, our happiness also changes. And we become sad. We remain always swinging from one extreme to another and not realizing why."


You'll have to read the rest of the article to truly understand what I'm talking about, it's deep - its not for the feint hearted. As always Suhaibwebb.com produces outstanding articles bu high-calibre scholars, so I highly recommend anyone interested to browse through and window shop some of the ideas, until then adios my amigos!