NLP... another gimmick or perhaps it could just change your life

NLP stands for Neuro (the mind) Linguistic (language) Programming (how to respond to any given situation) and is defined as a series of techniques that leaves behind trails or the natural way of living and the natural way of communicating. That's quite a mouthful! Fear not, I shall aim to simplify its concepts (as far as understand it) and offer you an insight into NLP focusing on aspects that interest me.


My discovery of NLP kick-started off yesterday as I attended an NLP course delivered by Shahid Akmal with my good friend Tasif. Though it was a paid for course (sigh) it was one which I wont be forgetting too soon; my interest was proven by the fact that I hadn't fallen asleep by the end of it (as it so happens when Tasif takes me to a course).


What is NLP and how do I use it? NLP is the conscious realisation of the external world being processed, internalised and then used to achieve specific and desired outcomes. For example you would like to build rapport (connection/engagement) with an individual; imagine this to be our desired goal. You would first have to make observations (consciously making judgements based on evidence). You may see certain behavioural patterns which allows you to come to a conclusion whether the person is happy, sad, angry or depressed. We do this everyday without even thinking about it when we see the 'glow' on a person's face we ask "why are you so happy" or when a person has their head down we ask "you're looking a bit glum, can I help". NLP allows one to gain insight into how we came to that conclusion that someone is happy or sad, and from there it gets a whole lot more interesting.


So now we've processed the external world (or a small part of it), lets assume the individual is angry. You would then calm them down using techniques from NLP and then engage with them (rapport). Imagine you are working at a customer service desk and the individual we've been talking about was an angry customer and you want them to understand why you cant refund a purchase they had made. This is where the 'linguisitic' part of NLP comes in. You want to decipher what type of communication model the customer is using: visual, auditory, kinesthetic or auditory digital i.e. picturing things, hearing things, feeling things or thinking things through. All this means is what type of language is the customer using and how do you use this knowledge. It may go something like this, the customer says "LOOK you're not SEEING my point" - this is a visual type of language  ('look' and 'see') and thus you would respond effectively by copying the same type of language "it LOOKS like... and it APPEARS to me... and I will SEE to it that this happens". In this way the customer service employee has calmed the customer down and explained their policy on refunds more effectively than without using the NLP system.


This is just a brief glance and a walk-through at one aspect of what I learnt at the NLP course yesterday and by no means is it comprehensive enough for you to make your own decision about it. What I will say is that there's definitely more to learn and appreciate. For instance the ethics (presuppositions) of NLP resonates loud and clear with a five-part series by Shaykh Hamza Yusuf  where he states that we should accept people for who they are - they have their own model of the world and we have our own model and we need to respect that.


I discovered through NLP that I was an 'auditory visual' person, which means apart from talking to myself (no really that's what 'auditory visual' people do) I am a person that likes to think things through before I respond and I like to know if something makes sense. That actually made a lot of sense to me and I know that my friend Bilal will definitely admit to me talking-to-myself on more than one occasion, I can fondly hear him remark "you know mental people do that, people will think you're insane". If there was any consolation it was knowing that Tasif was also an 'auditory visual'.